Live-Blogging Boiled Eggs

How to make perfect boiled eggs in 16 minutes.

Since the Patriots are not in today’s SuperBowl and since baseball season doesn’t start for another month or so, I’d thought I’d try out live-blogging on the next best thing: cooking. I mean, who doesn’t love the Iron Chef TV show? Those guys have got nothing on me. This will be a little bit tricky, since the eggs are in the kitchen and the computer is in the office. So I’ll have to run back and forth, avoiding kids and cats. Hold on to your hats!

9:40 – I just warned the kids and the cats.

9:41 – Found the timer. You’ll want a digital one. Or a really accurate analog one.

9:44 – Almost ran into the cat. I can see this is going to be tricky.

9:45 – The pot and eggs are ready. Take a medium-sized pot and add 32 ounces of water.

9:46 – Add as many eggs as will fit without having multiple layers of eggs. If that makes sense.

9:47 – I mean, what you don’t want is eggs on eggs. You can add the eggs first or the water first. I added the eggs, then the water, then some more eggs.

9:48 – I did this because it’s hard to make the eggs stand up on end, but this is how you can get the most eggs in the pot. When you add some water, the eggs float a bit, making it easier to fit that last egg.

9:49 – So I’ve got ten eggs and 32 ounces of water, for those of you scoring at home. (Please, no wagering.)

9:50 – Burner on high, lid on.

9:51 – Now for a little break in the action. No cats in the hall this time. I devised this method after hearing that Martha Stewart (MS) published a similar method for perfect boiled eggs. This method is best for those who want boiled eggs relatively quickly while using a little less energy than the MS method. I think her method calls for 8:30 of cooking time. But she didn’t count the time it takes the water to boil. In any event, the trick is to leave the pot on the stove while the burner is still hot. Obviously I’m taking about an electric stove. This method will not work with gas stoves.

9:53 – The water should boil in 8 minutes. About 2:30 left. I’ve got to check that pot. (By the way, a watched pot will boil. I tested it.)

9:55 – By the way, when you’re buying eggs, you can make sure that you don’t have any broken ones by opening the package and quickly wiggling each egg. If you can move each egg, then there is a good chance that all are intact. If one egg is stuck, then there is a chance that it is broken and fused to the egg carton.

9:56 – Egg cartons can be burned for kindling.

9:58 – Burner off after 8 minutes. Leave the pot on the stove. Reset timer for another 8 minutes.

9:59 – I should mention that you should not use the egg cartons for kindling if you don’t have a wood stove. Starting a fire in your kitchen can be quite dangerous.

10:00 – I just saw an instant replay of a video game my kids are playing. It’s Worms World Party. Which reminds me of the time in 7th grade when we made worm casserole.

10:02 – OK, I’ve got a few more minutes. Here’s some more about the worm casserole. Get some worms, put them in corn meal, wait a week. (I could live-blog that but it would take too long.) The worms eat the corn meal, which cleans out their system. Now they are ready for cooking and eating. We fried them up like hamburger before adding them to the casserole. You can add hamburger meat as well. And you’ll have a hard time figuring out which is which. Worms, it turns out, do not taste like chicken.

10:05 – My kids just asked why I am live-blogging boiled eggs. It’s hard to explain. Especially with only 17 seconds left until "eggs off burner."

10:06 – Took the pot off the burner, emptied the hot water, added cold water to the pot. Add cold water, swish around, and empty a couple of times. The final time, leave the cold water and the eggs in the pot. Time to eat. And that’s what we’re off to do now. In short, this method improves on the MS method. By leaving the pot on the stove as it cools down, you can shave a minute or so off of MS’s boiling time. The eggs are perfectly boiled. The yoke is firm but not crumbly. I hope you have enjoyed this experiment in live-blogging. I know I have. Now it’s time to have breakfast.

2 Replies to “Live-Blogging Boiled Eggs”

  1. Thank you for confirming for me why blogging is only for the insane….and reading blogs is only for people infatuated with others’ insanity.

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