I am not a hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic.
I was born on 06-06-1966. Today, 06-06-2006, is my 40th birthday. I am not a hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia>, my name is not Damien, and I have no telling scars on my head, but, as you can imagine, I’ve heard all the jokes about my birthday.
Today (2006), the world’s population is about 6.5 billion and there are about 200,000 births per day. In 1966, the world’s population was about 3.5 billion and there were about 100,000 births per day. I know one other person with the exact same birthday as mine (and she is also a lawyer), but I don’t know the other 99,998 folks out there. Personally, I like my odds of being non-evil. I did dress up as Dr. Evil <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dr._Evil> for an Austin Power movie party in the summer of 1999, but I’m not sure that proves that I’m evil.
To prove that I am not evil and not about to take over the world, my law firm, Clock Tower Law Group, will offer its trademark registration services free* for every 6th new client that signs up in next 66 days. Furthermore, for all new clients that sign up in the next 66 days, I guarantee** that if you file a trademark with Clock Tower Law Group, then you will get a registered trademark or I will give you your money back. It’s our non-evil 666 trademark offer.
*There are strings attached. “Free” means that applicants will pay for the USPTO’s filing fees (and other costs, such as postage) but not the firm’s legal fees. It currently costs $325 to file a trademark for one class. Responses to office actions, oppositions, interferences, and the like are not included in the “free” part – just the initial filing. In about two-thirds of the cases, Clock Tower Law Group does not receive any office actions after the initial filing, and registered trademarks issue in about 11-13 months from when they were filed. The “free” services will be provided to every 6th new client who signs up with Clock Tower Law Group for the 66-day period starting 06-06-2006 and ending 08-11-2006 (inclusive). Winners will be posted on the ErikJHeels.com weblog. One becomes a new client by returning Clock Tower Law Group’s proposal letter to the firm. To be eligible, sign up for this promotion at Clock Tower Law Group’s website <http://www.clocktowerlaw.com/666.html>.
**We can make this guarantee because we do a trademark search as part of every application and only recommend filing a trademark application when there is a good chance of success. The guarantee means that if the USPTO objects to your trademark, then we will give you the option of (1) pursuing another trademark under the same “free” conditions as your first trademark (i.e. you pay the filing fee) or (2) we will refund any legal fees you paid to us.
By the way, if I were evil and were planning on taking over the world, here is how I would start. On 6-6-6, the 40th anniversary of my 6-6-66 birth, I would post a message with the subject “Macintosh vs. Windows: Which Is Better?” on every mailing list that I belong to, encouraging members to cross-post the question to other lists. The resultant flame wars would incite a civil war between Windows and Macintosh enthusiasts. I’m not sure what I’d do next, but that’s how I’d start.