2000-04-01 VINE

An email message promoted from my email archives to my blog on 2012-09-26.

The golden age of April Fools’ Day parodies on the Internet was 1995-2000. After that, people got smarter, wire services changed their policies about parody press releases, and the jig was up.

In fact, Rick Klau and I had something to do with the wire service policy changes. In 1999, Rick and I won an award from InternetWire for our “press release” about Visa purchasing the Internet. Good times!

I’ve documented much of the past silliness on ParodyLaw.com.

The following was part of an April Fools’ Day joke that I pulled on my Verio colleagues in 2000. I had help from coworkers. We had signs of Verio’s “new” tagline printed up and displayed them on both floors of the office. Then this “newsletter” went out.

To: allverio@verio.net
From: "Erik J. Heels" <eheels@verio.net>
Subject: VINE 04-01-00
Date: Sat,  1 Apr 2000 00:04:07

<VINE>
=================================================================
VINE                                     Verio Internal News Etc.
Vol. 2 No. 7                                       April 1, 2000
=================================================================
VINE is an internal publication of Verio Inc.  VINE is published
semi-monthly by e-mail (to allverio@verio.net) and on VIC
(https://intranet.verio.net), Verio's Intranet, as a way to
distribute internal company news.  If you have information that
you think would be of interest to Team Verio, feel free to send
e-mail to Erik Heels, VINE's editor, at vine@verio.net.
=================================================================

VERIO CHANGING ITS NAME TO "JAZZKEY"
Verio was founded in 1996 as World-Net Access and was renamed
"Verio" in 1997.  And although the Verio name has been very
successful, it only has five letters, making it difficult to
create memorable toll-free numbers (such as 1-800-JAZZ-KEY).  The
new name, JazzKey, is intended to portray or more "jazzy" image
of a company holding the "key" to the new world of business.
JazzKey is also designed to sound like the name of Verio's CEO,
Justin Jaschke.  At this point, Justin has not decided if he will
change his last name to match the company's new name.
http://www.jazzkey.net

VERIO TO ACQUIRE ROCK BAND
In order to avoid a protracted trademark law suit, Verio has
agreed to acquire the rock band Love Riot, whose domain name
includes the phrase "verio."  If you are planning a company
social event, be sure to check with the band to see if they are
available before booking outside entertainment.  The band will be
adding jazz songs to its repertoire.
http://www.loveriot.com

A SPICY PROMOTION
Another trademark-related development (also involving a company
that happens to have the phrase "verio" in its domain name) is
the upcoming promotion between Verio and Oliverio Italian Style
Peppers.  The West Virginia company will be including links from
its home page to Verio.  And Verio customers will be eligible for
discounts.  Stay tuned to VINE for details!
http://www.oliveriopeppers.com

VIRUS-FREE VIC
The intranet team is pleased to report that many people have been
uploading documents to VIC.  However, some uploaded documents
have contained viruses.  In order to maintain the integrity of
VIC, the procedure for uploading documents has been modified.
Users will now have two options for getting content uploaded to
the intranet.  Option #1: mail your content on a floppy disk to
Verio's corporate headquarters where the disk will be scanned for
viruses.  Option #2: e-mail your content to
ponyexpress@verio.net, where the files will be printed out and
then new documents will created by scanning the printed ones to
ensure there are no viruses present.  We know that these
procedures may take a bit longer, but we thank you for helping us
to make VIC a virus-free place to get information.

VERIO OUTFITTERS
Thanks to strong sales of Verio-branded merchandise from the
"Verio Stuff" section of the intranet, Verio is launching a new
division to focus exclusively on selling Verio-branded
merchandise to end users.  The position will be run by Krista
Tamburino, President of Verio Outfitters, who will be launching
Verio Outfitters' fall line in Paris next month.  Since the 2000
budget has already been set, no marketing funds are available for
the launch of this new division, so please let your friends and
family know.  Hats and shirts make great gifts!  The business
plan calls for items to be sold at cost in 2000, but what we lose
in margin we expect to make up in volume.

VERIO ON ICE
Verio is pleased to announce international expansion into
Iceland.  Although inhabited by only 270,000 people, Iceland has
the world's highest number of Macintosh computers per capita of
any country in the world.  Plus it's usually cold so people tend
to stay inside and surf the web.  A Microsoft NT and FrontPage
promotion is planned for 2000 Q2 with co-marketing funds from
Dell Computer.
http://www.rhi.hi.is/utgafa/frett/94apr/1.html

NEW TAGLINE FOR 2000
Verio's current tagline is "the new world of business," but Verio
is going to test launch the new tagline starting in 2000 Q2.  The
new tagline is "business is booming and is fun."  A new website
is in development to test the effectiveness of the new tagline.
The test launch will be restricted to Colorado companies, so IP
addresses outside of Colorado will not be able to access the new
site.
http://www.VerioBusinessIsBoomingAndIsFun.com

DID YOU KNOW ... THAT VERIO ORDERMASTERS ARE THE BEST?
In a recent head-to-head competition between postmasters,
webmasters, hostmasters, and ordermasters, Verio's ordermasters
came out on top.  Congratulations ordermasters!
http://www.VerioOrderMastersAreTheBest.com

MARK YOUR CALENDARS
April 1, 2000; April Fools' Day
April 5-7, 2000; Los Angeles; Spring Internet World;
http://events.internet.com/spring2000/
May 23-25, 2000; ISPcon - Spring 2000; Orlando;
http://ispcon.internet.com/spring2000/
May 29, 2000 (Monday); holiday, Memorial Day
June 1, 2000; 10:00 am; All-Associates Teleconference
July 4, 2000 (Tuesday); holiday, Independence Day
July 12-13, 2000; Summer Internet World; Chicago;
http://events.internet.com/chicago2000/
September 1, 2000; 10:00 am; All-Associates Teleconference
September 4, 2000 (Monday); holiday, Labor Day
October 6-8, 2000; Fall Internet World; New York City;
http://events.internet.com/
November 23-24, 2000 (Thursday and Friday); holiday, Thanksgiving
November 30, 2000; 10:00 am; All-Associates Teleconference
December 25, 2000 (Monday); holiday, Christmas Day
In 2000, each associate has two (2) floating holidays to be taken
at the discretion of local management or the associate.  All
eligible associates are entitled to observe their cat's birthday
as a paid holiday.  The cat holiday can be taken on any day the
associate chooses.  The associate should request the cat holiday
as far in advance as possible and must receive prior approval
from their supervisor.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Thanks to Lynn Rooney, Sharon Rogers, Sue Sievert, Darlene Elder,
Cheryl Herman, Roy Schwalm, Janis Rossi, Cindy Lucas, Dan Grote,
Michelle Calhoun, Sally Snook, Krista Tamburino, Elizabeth
Hansen, Rob Lubeck, Heidi Strong, Louis Gottfried, and Matt Bell
for contributing information to this edition of VINE!

CONTRIBUTING TO VINE
VINE is an internal publication of Verio Inc.  VINE is published
semi-monthly by e-mail (to allverio@verio.net) and on VIC
(https://intranet.verio.net), Verio's Intranet, as a way to
distribute internal company news.  If you have information that
you think would be of interest to Team Verio, feel free to send
e-mail to Erik Heels, VINE's editor, at vine@verio.net.  By the
way, THIS ENTIRE ISSUE IS AN APRIL FOOLS' JOKE  Doh!

</VINE>

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *